Thursday, July 15, 2010

Patient Quote of the Day (and an insite to doctor farting)

I had a 30 year old Hispanic Panic male patient last night that was being seen for chest pain. He ushered me in the room after our initial, loonnnngggg visit.

Me: "Yes sir, what can I do for you."

Him: "Hey Doc, can you get me some air freshener?"

Me: "Huh? No we don't carry air freshener in the ER. Why?" (Astounded look on my face b/c I just coded 2 people and this guy is asking me for air freshener??)

Him: "Oh. I just have to fart and I didn't want anyone to smell it."

With a pissed off look on my face, I told him to just let it rip, and then let one rip myself as I walked out of his room.


I know plenty of docs, maybe even myself at times, who choose patient rooms to fart in. Usually we get to hit the can maybe once in a 10 hour shift, so definitely don't have time to go to the bathroom to pass gas every time the cafeteria food makes its way down the colon. We usually choose either unconscious or altered patients rooms, homeless patients rooms (b/c they smell themselves), or really obese patients rooms (b/c they will be the prime suspects).

-ER Doc

31 comments:

  1. Pahahahahahahaaa so effing true. I would add the rooms of hearing impaired elderly patients to the list. They didn't hear the 15 walking farts they just unleashed so they certainly aren't going to hear you. Not that I would know this from personal experience. Of course.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Crop dusting is key - letting it go slowly while walking down the hall.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Or at the nursing station - just make sure it is a silent but deadly.

    ReplyDelete
  4. (Mouth hangs open) So if it's another conscious patient and it's just the two of you, you're not embarrassed? Since the patient is going to know it was you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. No we wouldn't do it in a conscious patient's room...that's why we room pick

    ReplyDelete
  6. For some reason, this struck me as very sad and somewhat callous. I didn't find it the least bit funny. You deliberate choose the rooms of the homeless or obese to fart in? And you think that makes you smart and funny? People get used to their own smells. Its quite possible that while you didn't notice a difference when you diliberately farted in their presence, they did. You're essentially saying, "you mean less than anyone else here in the ER. I will expose you to my noxious smell because you probably can't tell the difference."

    I couldn't have been more disappointed in this post.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree with Fordo.

    Also, I lost 100lbs and have kept it off for over 2 years, and I fart more now, then when I was obese.

    But since you are talking about things coming out your butt, it's clear as day, you also talk out your ass.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Tuti fruti, did u loose ur weight from surgery? If so then you didn't loose it. And #2 if that's how u had the surgery that's why u fart more

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Doctor," with all due respect: Go back to school, learn how to spell simple English words ("lose," anyone?), then find yourself a nice, deep lake to jump in. You are a callous, sociopathic creep.

    ReplyDelete
  10. How funny! School is where one learns to fart surreptitiously. The workplace is where one perfects the art. Trade secrets are fascinating, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The two that didn't find this funny are obviously not in the medical profession... and if they are, you need to find a new job cause you're not going to last. one of the only ways that we all make it through codes, traumas, GI bleeds and every other horrible thing that would make a normal person loose there lunch, is having a horribly sick sense of humor. so i say SUCK IT UP and un-bunch your panties! Those of you that are able .. keep doin what you're doin!

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is soo funny! For those of you that didn't laugh, I agree with EMTED Tech. For such a demanding and stressful profession, humor is a way of relief... Next time you are in the hospital, make sure you let your doctor know he can fart in front of you to save the other poor souls that don't deserve it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I do this all the time in the psych ER. The smells of stinky feet and charcoal-induced vomit on the hospital gown cover up whatever vile stench can eminate from my ass.

    Look, I have 2 choices. Fart in a closed fishbowl with my attending and 3 nurses, or let it rip in its natural environment.

    -psych doc

    p.s. the next person who bitches about our spelling, stop reading. you are pissing me off.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Soem of the nurses at my hospital are even worse... they use the enclosed medication room so whoever walks in there next passes out. We keep airfreshner around for patients rooms though.
    P.S. Spelling errors make you human.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I lost 100 lbs, without surgery, and I am obese. I have had a personal trainer for 2 years, eat well, row on the water three hours a week on a TEAM, work out at the gym another 4-5 days weekly. And, no doubt, people will think I am lying.

    So, when people see an obese person, they think adipose tissue=flatulence? Yikes. I'll make a mental note to add that to my self image.

    I think weight bias is disgusting in general but in the area of medicine it speaks to a need for more education for professionals. Fit but fat really does exist.

    I'm not saying dark humour is bad because, frankly, so many professions require that kind of humour for stress relief. But re: obesity, do we really need to go there?

    Btw, I am a fan of your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  16. there is no such things as fat but fit. fat is fat, not fit. fat clogs your arteries, causes high blood pressure, atherosclerosis, etc. congrats on loosing your weight normally, but dont say doctors need more education on fat people. thats the majority of our profession. just don't be naive on what fat really is

    ReplyDelete
  17. hell ya fat = flatulance. i have never disrobed a fat person in the hospital and them NOT smell. yeast and sweat in fat rolls. they cant wipe their ass as well so there is always way more streaks in the cheeks and dry shit smell. and they seem to have to poop a lot more. looser too. probably from all the fatty foods that make them fat. i dunno, im just a nurse but thats my experience

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sometimes....ya just got to be HUNGRY people. Who eats three meals a day and snacks anyway?? Normal people, i guess.

    Ha, the fart post was funny! Especially when one is visiting elderly parents who let 'em rip all the time! :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. The fat bashing in the post and in the comments is disappointing and juvenile.

    Humor is fine, but the problem is you guys aren't really being funny, you truly believe the obese are less worthy.

    M

    ReplyDelete
  20. Like i said...ya just have to be hungry sometimes.....sorries....just do it! You can get used to it.....
    Sometimes hungry feels good.

    ReplyDelete
  21. My point, anonymous, was that you can't judge lifestyle by appearance. I carry fat but I carry it to the gym and rowing, etc. and am capable of doing more than most of my 'thin' friends.

    I do, in fact, understand what fat can do; but we're not all eating fast food, watching TV, drinking soda, eating chips, etc. which, by the way, is exactly what an OB/GYN thought I was doing and promptly lectured me about making better choices! If she had taken the time to ask me and believe my answers, she would have had a patient. Also, a clinic referred my normal-weighted daughter to a doctor for fear that I would be passing on bad eating habits -- and my doctor assured me it was due to my appearance and nothing else.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Every time I see racial stereotypes in this blog, I think about what ER doctors might be saying about my me (English proficient) and my extended family (not so much) during an emergency.
    Then again, we're Asian, so we're quiet and polite, right? My BS meter is off the charts
    I guess I'll just hope for StorytellER or Shadowfax in the event of an emergency.

    ReplyDelete
  23. SerenityNowHospitalJuly 20, 2010 at 12:13 PM

    RE Anon

    Yes, if you want the warm and fuzzy type, you should go to storytell's er. He sounds very nice and spells better. Me and my co-bloggers treat our patient's nice and all the same and deliver great medical care. We just tell you what people really are thinking and what is going on. Get a life

    -ER Doc

    Oh and we haven't even bashed on asians yet. But maybe we should considering your whining ass has hurt feeligs.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I noticed a lot of doctor bloggers have bad spelling, whatever. They need that brain space to remember all the zillions of medications there are these days and all the symptoms of all the stuff that can go wrong with us.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Now you have learned the lesson of making a slightly off-colour joke about the obese. You get flamed. I learned that the hard way about two years ago...
    http://erstories.net/archives/541

    ReplyDelete
  26. I think the author of this blog is just like his post... Full of shit. Quite frankly, after reading many of his/her posts, it's became more clear that the blog is the made up stories from a persons mind.

    Next time, try blogging about something that's real vs in your imagination.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Dirty service room!
    I did once fart in a room because the guy was a verbally abusive felon who tried to smack me.

    ReplyDelete
  28. What a tool!

    Just because you are one of the Millions doctors in the country serving to diverse populations,dealing with sickly things, doesn't give you a right to abuse or flame patients based on their condition or race. There are several other doctors in this country and they do their job without whining like you do. And if you think farting in 'select room's is humorous, thats not dark humor, it's EPIC FAIL humor.
    I have been reading this blog for several years and I can't believe the way some of the posts are posted with apparent bigotry and whining in it, and all the blog post responder bashing who didn't agree with you. No doubt I will be honored with an equally BS post from you with more spelling errors and asking me to 'get a life'.

    Just because you deliver 'great' medical care, it doesn't give you the right to post like an idiot and be a tool. You are entitled to respect, not flagrant fart ripping in rooms with people who you THINK can barely notice it. and Then laugh about it and post it on a blog, because apparently you aren't meting out enough 'great medical care' to fill this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Guys... it's just a couple of farts. They're not that bad. The smell dissipates after about a minute; leaving it in a patient's room isn't "abusive" or anything. It's just not that bad of a thing to do.

    For the record, I don't think most people associate obesity with farts. Personally, fiber gives me gas and probably helps me stay thin, so I'm more likely to associate seemingly-healthy-eaters with farts.

    ReplyDelete
  30. All this over farts. Like they've never crop dusted in public. But when a DOCTOR does it, unacceptable. You have no respect for humankind! You make me sick! You are supposed to be a robotic charity worker without emotions or bodily functions. Gosh.

    It is so true about the medication room farts. I have walked into some horrendous smells. And if someone else walks in you get the blame.

    ReplyDelete